Wish-List

I Never Met a Carrot I Didn't Like

Wish-List

Maybe if i try focusing my wish-list down to one thing...  it will manifest a little faster.

Wishful thinking?

"Bitchy Queenz" A Rant in One-Act

There is nothing worse than bitchy queens bitching about bitchy queens (i don't think i'm a bitchy queen, but in this blog i will be bitching about bitchy queens, so if the hypocrisy offends you - i offer my apologies in advance). Right, ANYways - As I quest for my NYC gay "spot" of choice - I continue to stumble upon some of the most interesting and often ridiculous people.  Last night was no exception - LAST NIGHT - went to a place called EVOLVE.  Known for its older clientele...  any person less than thirty five is there for one reason, and one reason only - to find a Sugahh Daddy.  Well, that or they go to harass the insanely boring go-go boys (if i was a go-go dancer, i would be a BLAST).  By the time I had gotten there, it was pretty late - and most people had coupled off.  I found my way to my group of friends and sat down - ONLY to be approached by a Greek Archeologist from Columbia who had something nasty to say about EVERYone in the place.  Starting with the straight muscle jock escorts, working his was down all the old gay men, and finally ending the conversation by talking shit about my good friend. "he's so sarcastic, how do you put up with it?  he's not even cute...  yadda yadda" - I'm not normally one to say anything to people like this, I would normally not engage, because when you engage you are WASTING your energy.  Not needed.  BUT – when you encounter someone as riDICKulous as this guy was, you are doing the gay community a FAVOR by stomping that shit out.  After about five minutes of not saying a word, and letting him yammer - I turned to him and said the following…  “You need to stay home if you’re going to be this hateful.  I understand that you probably come here because you feel like the prettiest one in the room, and would feel insecure at a place where this kind of behavior is tolerated (i.e. vlada), but you’re at an OLD MAN bar, with straight strippers, and bad lighting – calm your shit down, and as for my friend – his dick is bigger than your leg, and he would take a bullet for a stranger.  Alright?  Alright.  Have a good night.”

Bam.

Friend, take a whiff of yourself already.

Eastern Bloc smelled like a sewer last night.  RUFF, dude.  SO RUFF.  I get the seksi musk smell is a big turn on for some people - but c'mon.  A shower, some deodorant.  Lets try and be courteous?!.. because after two four loko (eight loko), uncountable shots of vodka, and a serious serving of indian food - it took all I had not to vomit up and DOWN that bar.

That being said, I usually love it there.

Saw a guy who looked like this there, but having to avoid breathing through my nose ACTUALLY had me breathing through my mouth, and with all the alcohol consumption -- I was so light headed that I thought it best not to embark on anything that might have me swinging from the ceiling.

Bummer, dude.

Wish-List

Post Masturbation Frustration

Sometimes after I masturbate - literally the second after, mid clean-up - I get OUT of MY MIND angry over who and what I was masturbating too.  Often I'm so ashamed of just how OBNOXIOUS they were. 

Like this guy, maybe you've seen his work.

So good.

Awesome.

I've been faggin' out left and right today.

Pray for me.

Hail.

Wish-List

Straight Celebrities Fuck Boys?

Crazy money to let some Hollywood celebrity fuck me??!?  Seriously!!!!!!?

Can I know who it is first?

The deal sounded pretty sweet – Get tested, get photographed, sign a confidentiality agreement, get some money, and get laid.

Too bad I have morals…?

Sometimes I feel like having student loans really fucks up my sense of right and wrong.

Shit like this just doesn’t happen in the Cuntry.

I wonder if the pics would have been enticing artistic pieces, or straight up mug shots.  They should really have some materials on hand to cover the FAQ.

Wish-List

All that work and he couldn't take the sticker off?

I'm fine with it.

Absolutely.

My roommate in College hung a picture of Jesus above his bed,

and told me I was going to burn in Hell.

So I hung this picture above my bed,

and told him I'd be in some really good company.

Worth Your Money.

Banned? Understandable. Someone find my pants.

Had a wonderful first date with Four Loko tonight - Some relationships are doomed right from the start.

I Get It

So. Right. She's nuts. 

BUT - I can actually (no, really) respect her dedication.

#1 You know you're gay when...

You lose your shit after something like this pulls out in front of you. 

I'm going to start eating again.  Carbs included.

I'm happier - and my ass looks better.

Jack3d

All about it.

Important Notice:

Memo: During the winter of 2011, all gay men (of substance) residing in and around NYC will be hibernating until further notice.

I moved here last week, so maybe my copy was lost in the mail?